A place for some reflection

I Smile Because....

2009-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

Have you heard the saying, "I smile because I have no idea what's going on" before? I think we all have, it's a pretty common saying in silly t-shirt shops. Well, lately, that's kinda been me.

However, I'm smiling not BECAUSE I don't know what's going on, but IN SPITE of not knowing what's going on. And lemme tell you, I am smiling A LOT.

What's the expression? Butterflies? :)

Butterflies rock. The end.

"All or Nothing"

2009-05-05T23:46:00.000-07:00

I have always loved this song....Just thought I'd post the lyrics....

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"All or Nothing" by O-Town

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair

Chorus:
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it

Don't me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell

Chorus

Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never

Chorus x2

jealous....

2009-05-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

i need to stop being such a jealous person.
i am on the verge of tears.

Totally Do-able

2009-04-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Losing 40 lbs by the end of August is totally do-able. I am sure I'll have lost 40 other things by then, why not add pounds to the mix? :) I'm down 4 so far, and I just started a week ago! Woo!

My New Logo?

2009-03-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

Hey kiddies.... So, I've decided to make a logo for my photography work... I've posted a few versions, so I'd really appreciate hearing which one you all like the best! Thanks! :)

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Tiffani & Chris's Wedding

2009-03-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hello! Just over a week ago I went to Seattle to photograph my friend Tiffani's wedding. Here are a just a few photos from the event!

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Things that make me happy!

2009-02-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

Today I feel the need to remind myself of all of the little things in life that make me happy. All too often I think I take the little things for granted, and in the end, I think the little things are actually the big things... So, off the top of my head, here are a few things that make me smile!

Blue skies
John Cusack movies
The sound of the rain
The smell of the air on early summer mornings
The feel of the sunshine on my skin, any time of year.
Gerber daisies
Star filled skies
Days off from work
Paychecks
My car's sunroof/moonroof
Brick Oven pizza!
Chaco tan lines
Almond Rocha
Smiles from strangers
Puppies/Dogs
Babies
Chill music
Sleeping in
High School Yearbooks
Haircuts
Roadtrips with friends
Vacations in general
Palm trees
Allred concerts
The sound of a cello
Sunsets

There are a few.... :) What makes YOU happy?

Thinkin' Over...

2009-02-18T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've had a lot on my mind lately. More than usual, actually. Well, let me back up...

The last few weeks I've been pretty sick, and have spent an unusually large amount of time at home, in bed. When you're home and stuck in bed, you have ridiculous amounts of time to think. [And play on Facebook.] So, everything that I haven't had time to really think about the past few weeks/months came flooding to my mind, and at times, it was a bit overwhelming.

I thought about California. A lot. And obviously not JUST California, but situations surrounding certain people IN California. I gave my heart away to this person 8 years ago and I never really got it back. I've been fighting with myself over this non-stop since October 29th....The day he breezed back into my life. Well, actually I should say, I've been fighting with myself over this since September or October 2001. It's a sick love affair, so to speak, and I'm a hopeless romantic.

I thought a lot about the Church, and it's role in my life. Or rather, the lack-there-of. I went to the Draper Temple Open House on February 14th, and I was hoping to have some miraculous, spiritual experience that opened my eyes and flooded my heart and made me realize everything I have been missing....and...I just...didn't. The building was BEAUTIFUL...But, I just felt like I was walking through JUST THAT...a beautiful building. I had no spiritual connection with the place.

I've thought about Brennan, and how much I miss him. I guess that also ties into the whole "thinking about California" aspect... I haven't been there since his funeral, and would really like to bring some Gerber daisies to his grave...In my opinion, they are the ultimate symbol of friendship. [Well, at least in terms of flowers.]

Going along with missing Brennan, I've come to realize something about myself... I have a very hard time letting people go. I guess that has to do with "Mr. California," too. I care about people a LOT. I think about my friends and how much they mean to me, and maybe this is idealistic, but I invision always being friends with them. I think back to where I was a few years ago, and who I was spending all of my free time with, and sadly, most of my friends from back then have grown into what feels like strangers. That's hard for me. Kurt Cobain once said "It's better to burn out than to fade away." I think that really describes how I feel about friendship. I would rather have a friendship end in some bitter, horrible, beyond-the-point-of-repair type of fight than for the friendship to just fade away, almost like it never existed.

Here's an example. There is a person here in Utah I have been friends with since summer/fall of 2005, I believe.... [For the sake of making this less confusing, I'll refer to this person as "Shawn."] I have a tremendous amount of respect for Shawn. He's funny. He's outgoing. He's willing to help out a friend in need. He's someone I know I can talk to about anything without fear of judgement, and someone who can keep things confidential -- well, the important things anyway. :) I guess in short, he's all of the things a person looks for in a friend. Anyway, Shawn and I used to be good friends and hung out pretty regularly. Then, I don't know what happened. Life changed things. I have been back in Utah for just over a year now, and I've only seen him once. And that was by chance. It makes me sad to see friendships fizzle away, and not know how to fix them, or why they started fading in the first place.

Maybe that's just part of life...

This blog is probably sounding really depressing, ha ha ha, and I promise I don't mean for it to! Like I said, I've just had a lot on my mind and I needed someplace to write it all out, so I can better sort through it all.

Thanks for listening...

Pretty Baby....

2009-02-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

I. Want. One.

True Love

2009-02-07T02:02:00.001-08:00

Inside these walls one can experience the feeling of True Love. Love from our Heavenly Father.
Oh, what a lovely Valentines Day this is going to be. :)

The A, B, C's of Sarahlee

2009-02-04T09:51:00.000-08:00

A- Attached or single: Single

B- Best Friend: I have a few very, very good best friends, both boys and girls, that have passed the test of time. Dawn, Beth, Kellie, Kristen, Brock, Tassy, Sara, Kelso, Mark, Bryan, Michael, etc. So many!!!!

C-Cake or Pie: Gotta go with pie. Specifically pumpkin pie, with whipped cream!

D- Day of choice: Any day I have off from both jobs! :) Usually Mondays & Tuesdays!

E- Essential Item: My backpack. It's filled with all of my essential items, haha.

F- Favorite Color: The blue color of the sky right away when I wake up on a summery day that I don't have to go to work. :) Nothing beats warm, sunny days!

G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Eh, if I had to choose, I'd pick worms. Sour worms.

H- Hometown: Aitkin/Brainerd, Minnesota (I know what you're thinking..."Uhhm, WHERE???")

I- Indulgence(s): Caramel apple suckers :) Mmmmm sooooo good!

J- January or July: Until I learn to snowboard or something, I'm going to have to go with July! :)

K- Kids: I had a dream last night that I had a baby boy, whom I named Jake Taylor; Does that count??? :) (ps - I have NO IDEA where I pulled the last name "Taylor" from, so don't get any ideas! lol)

L-Life is Incomplete Without: Love.

M- Marriage Date: My goal is 10/10/10. :) uhh, that's pushing it, but hey. :) It's always good to have a goal.

N- Number of Siblings: 2 half sisters. Samantha (by my mom) and Joleen (by my dad.) I only know Sam, though.

O- Oranges or Apples: I love both. But I especially love apples when sweetened by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory's caramel. :)

P- Phobias or Fears: Not being able to say goodbye...

Q- Quotes: "Could have been golden. Could have been something. Could have been anything that we wanted. But we were too fragile, we could be broken, we could be bought. And this is the last time I'm gonna say this, I loved you more than anything. And I still do." ~ "Golden" by ALLRED.

R- Reason To Smile: Sunshine. Music. Friendships. Memories. Take your pic.

S- Season: Autum- The temperature is my favorite. Cool enough during the day to enjoy some layered clothing, but still warm enough at night to not need a coat. Usually. :) The smell of the air when the leaves are changing is unmistakeable -- I wish I could bottle it and spray it in my home all year long!

T- Tag: Beth, Brittany, Kristen

U- Unknown Fact About Me: I have a huge soft spot for red-headed guys. I've never met a mean red head! ;)

V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: I love chicken too much to be a vegetarian!

W- Worst Habit: biting my nails, or pulling at my split ends... I gotta stop! AHH!

X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Well, I've never had an ultrasound, but uhm, I'm gonna go with that one...An x-ray usually means something is broken! hahaha....

Y- Your Favorite Food: Chicken Potstickers from Panda Express. Very guilty pleasure which I give-in to faaar too often! ;)

Z - Zodiac: Aries!

Ironic

2009-01-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

Well, that relationship I was talking about in my previous post...Yeah, it lasted 6 days. I couldn't handle it anymore. Sounds crazy, right? I couldn't handle being treated well? I don't know, it just seemed like too much --- I don't like being called "honey" and "baby" and "sweetie" and "darlin" every time you're speaking to me. My name is SARAH!!!! Try using THAT! I'm far too independent to need to be with someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or maybe I just haven't found the person that I'd be OKAY with spending that much time with. Yeah, I'm guessing that's it.

Then there's always the past coming back to bite me. Texting me from time to time, letting me know he's still there, and still holding my heart. Why do I let him have this control over me, and how do I stop it???

I got my laptop back, so...There will be more to come soon!

[ Relationships ]

2008-12-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

It's crazy to think that some people can treat others so badly. It's also amazing that some can treat those same people so WELL. Looking back on the men I've dated in the past few years and comparing them to the guy I'm dating right now, I see what an extreme difference there is in the way they have treated me.

Now I find it surprising when a guy DOESN'T get mad over the little things. This new guy I am dating is constantly pleasantly surprising me with how patient he is, with the way he doesn't get jealous, and the way he's always giving me sincere compliments.

Barack Obama was right. It WAS time for change. :)

I'm liking this...

A Time for Change

2008-11-05T11:31:00.001-08:00

I believe the time for change has come.

Thank you, Barack Obama.

Thank you, America.

Together, WE CAN!

Isn't It Funny...

2008-11-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, while driving down the road, you will hit a patch of fog. Even if you're familiar with the land and the terrain, it still puts a lot of guess-work into your task at hand (which is to drive through safely.) You go slow, of course, not really sure what lies just ahead. Then suddenly, the fog lifts, and you are once again fully aware of your surroundings, thankful to not have to deal with the fog anymore.

That's how I've been feeling lately. IN the fog, I mean.

Well, friends. Tonight, the fog lifted. I have been dealing with a situation lately that has often times left me confused and essentially, "in the dark" about the near future and what would happen. However, tonight, certain things happened to make me realize what a "fog" I was in during that situation. It was hard. It was painful. I was always wondering what came next... Well, due to a series of non-events (things that didn't happen, but should have) I have been freed from the blindness the fog caused, and I am able to see things for what they really are. See people for who they really are.

Why would I ever want to voluntarily go back into that state of fogginess?

Let's hope I am able to hang on to this moment of clarity...

Part Two

2008-10-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm usually not one who has a lack of things to say, but the last few text messages I've recieved have left me speechless. SPEECHLESS! I almost don't even know what to write here!!!!!!

As I said in my last blog, a friend from the past got in touch with me via text message last night. We continued our texting today... He is not Mormon anymore, he's getting divorced! Talk about dropping a bomb-shell! I don't know what to think! At one point, this guy was my STRENGTH....And now he's not even LDS!

I....I....I am seriously speechless.

HELP!

Just When I Thought...

2008-10-29T07:58:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought that the past was dead and gone, I got a late night text message. I don't think the text had any real point (as it didn't say much at all) other than to make his existance fresh in my mind.

He always did have the worst (and best) timing.

2008-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

Halloween is just around the corner and I bought the finishing touches for my costume last night. Let's "hope" it turns out the way I planned, haha. I'm going to the costume party at the restaurant I work at in Park City. My friend Alli is coming, as is my 'brother' Mark and two of his friends, and possibly two of my guy friends from the Provo area. I am certain the place will have a good turn out, all of the employees are bringing their friends. I have to work that night til close, but will go upstairs for the party afterward. Maaaaybe if you're lucky I'll post pictures. ;) haha... What are all of you dressing up as for halloween?

The Marriott is having a pumpkin contest too, and each department is in charge of decorating a pumpkin. Maybe it's the side of me that likes crap-food, but I like this idea:

A Day Late, A Buck Short

2008-10-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

The title of this post really has nothing to do with the post itself. It is simply a line from a song I've listened to quite a bit lately.
I haven't updated this in quite some time, and for that I apologize. I doubt anyone even reads it anymore, ha ha ha... Nonetheless, I thought I'd give a little update about what has been going on in my life.

First and foremost, my computer is dead, DeAd, DEAD. It doesn't recognize the hard drive is even in the computer, thus making it impossible for Windows to load. I blame the "disk clean-up" I did just before it crashed. {Insert a classic "Rawr" here} I will be buying a new hard drive in the next few weeks and then life should be business as usual. The hard part is that I can't upload or edit any pictures until my computer is fixed. I also can't update my iPod. Oh yeah, that's another thing.... Because it had been a few months since I last backed up my hard drive to my external hard drive, I've lost tons of music, and even more photos. Booooo!!! I guess that means I'll have to do some more PHOTOSHOOTS!! :) Any takers??? :)

In terms of "the guy scene" in my life...Well, let's just say it's kind of chaotic. Over the last few months I have also learned that you should say what's on your mind. I have found the line in "My Best Friend's Wedding" to be more true than I originally realized; "When you love someone, you SAY IT! Right then! Out loud! Otherwise, the moment just...passes you by."
There isn't much worse than finding out a few years down the line that the other person cared about you back then, too, but nothing was done about it for WHATEVER reason.

A few months ago I was talking with a friend of mine who served his mission in Minnesota (he actually taught me the discussions when I was first investigating the church!) and he gave me what was maybe the biggest compliment of my life. Backstory: I was completely in love with this kid for like, 3 years....After he finished his mission, he came back to Utah (where he's from) and we kept in touch. He came back to Minnesota once for a wedding and took me as his date. The kid is a rockstar. Funny, caring, genuine....Just an all around great guy. Well, he eventually got married and started a family of his own. He now has 4 awesome kids and his wife is a doll! We still keep in touch sometimes. Like I said, a few months ago we were talking on the phone and he said, "Sarah....Don't take this the wrong way, I am completely in love with my wife and kids and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but sometimes I feel like I missed out on dating you and I wish we would have given it a shot." I think when he said that, my heart stopped for a second. I guess I'm always so afraid of what would happen to the friendship if I tell someone how I feel about them and they don't feel the same way, so I typically don't say anything to them about it. I think it's maybe almost WORSE to find out later that what you hoped could have been, really COULD HAVE been.... Blahhhh...

So maybe "A day late, a buck short" really did apply to the post after all, haha...

Photos

2008-07-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

I am thinking about going to Provo today to take photos up around Bridal Veil Falls.... Anyone care to join? :)

Secrets, Secrets...

2008-07-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have been let in on the World's best kept secret. :)

Pioneer Day

2008-07-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well it's Pioneer Day here in Utah, but the festivities seemed to start last night.
I was at Temple Square taking photos and doing some personal reflecting last night, and suddenly I heard some loud noises coming from the right. I turned my head to see what it was and there were fireworks going off. Constant fireworks for about 15 minutes. I guess last night wasn't the best night for quiet reflection on Temple grounds, ha ha.

Tonight John Allred is performing at a park up here and I am definitely going to go. What day would be complete without a little music from John Allred? :)

Tomorrow I want to go to Bridal Veil Falls and BYU campus and have a photoshoot with a few friends; hopefully that pans out.

Not much to update on at this point. Will write more when I actually have something interesting to say.

Love ya'll.

Butterflies

2008-07-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've got butterflies in my tummy & I'm crushing on someone yummy. :)
Okay, okay... so not everyone agrees with me on that, but it doesn't matter.
I don't see the world through anyone's eyes but my own...
And when I look at him,

I see someone BEAUTIFUL!

What Was Once Deemed "Unconstitutional"...

2008-07-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

What was once deemed "unconstitutional" is now apparently "constitutional" again????

Someone please explain to me how when CHARLES MANSON (who killed/commanded his followers to kill AT LEAST NINE PEOPLE) was sentenced to death it was OVERTURNED the following year because it was deemed "unconstitutional" -- yet SCOTT PETERSON, who was convicted of supposedly killing his wife and unborn baby, HE DID get the death penalty????? THEY ARE IN THE SAME PRISON!!!! THEY ARE *BOTH* AT SAN QUENTIN STATE PRISON!!!! how is it "unconstitutional" for ONE PERSON, but completely legit for the other???????

I am LIVID!!!!!!!

-----

****correction: Charles Manson WAS at San Quentin Prison, but was transfered to California's Corcoran State Prison in 1989.

Irony

2008-07-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

You know what's ironic? I think Scott Peterson is innocent of the crimes he is incarcerated for, yet when I read Sharon Rocha's (Laci Peterson's Mom) book "For Laci" I can't stop tears from rolling down my cheeks.

The whole story just makes me sad.

Sometimes I long to have lived in simpler times.

My Obsessive Personality

2008-06-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I'm a bit obsessive. I can't really help it, that's just my personality. One week I'll be completely obsessed with a certain song and I'll basically keep it on repeat. The next week it will be a particular movie, or band, or hobby, etc. When I first moved back to Utah, it was "Simple Plan" (The band, not the movie.) Then it was photography (often times I revert back to photography, actually.)

Lately, my fascination is a bit....hmm...darker? Maybe 'darker' isn't the right word to describe it, maybe 'unlikely' or 'unexplainable' would work better...

[Are you curious yet?]

*drum roll please*...

My new obsession is............Scott Peterson!

And by Scott Peterson, I mean THE Scott Peterson. The Scott Peterson convicted of murdering his wife Laci and unborn son, Conner. The Scott Peterson on death row at San Quentin Prison, awaiting death by lethal injection. The Scott Peterson that I was SO SURE WAS GUILTY when the search for Laci & Conner was going on, and all throughout the trial.

And now? Now part of me believes he's innocent. Or could be innocent, at least.

I am currently reading a book by Catherine Crier (a Court TV Host) called "A Deadly Game: The Untold Story of the Scott Peterson Investigation" -- A book where she clearly makes her opinion of his guilt very evident. However, there are several things in this book that make me DOUBT his guilt! So many leads that weren't taken seriously, so many sightings of Laci by neighbors the morning she disappeared that were counted out, other pregnant women in the area who were abducted and murdered and dumped in the San Francisco Bay with the same mutilations within rougly the same time frame ---- NONE of these things point to Scott as the abducter/killer!! It seems to me the police were only FOCUSED on Scott, therefore didn't WANT to persue any other leads because, in their minds, they "had their man."

I sent Scott a letter yesterday. Yes, you read that right. I sent him a letter. I don't think he'll respond because he's previously had people write to him, only to exploit his responses, and in the aftermath, he decided that responding was probably not a good idea anymore. But I still hope he does respond, despite all of that.

Don't get me wrong, I feel terrible for Laci and her family! No one should have to go through that kind of agony and senseless loss -- but I also don't think if Scott is innocent that he should be the one paying for the crime, certainly not with his life.

So. Any thoughts on all of this? Do you think he's guilty or innocent?

Making A Difference...

2008-06-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

The Starfish Story
Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…
”I made a difference for that one.”

Guess who??

2008-06-17T19:26:00.000-07:00

Guess who is going out on the town tonight with friends and finally getting her life back???

(yes, me!) :)

TAG! You're IT!

2008-06-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Answer the following with only one word.

Where is your cell phone? ....................pocket
Your significant other?.......................over
Your hair?....................................growing
Your mother? .................................minnesota
Your father?..................................dead
Your favorite thing?..........................love
Your dream last night?........................heartbreaking
Your favorite drink...........................daquari
Your dream/goal?..............................marriage
The room you're in?..........................lobby
Your children?...............................unborn
Your fear?...................................single
Where do you want to be in 6 years..........happy
Where were you last night?..................work
What you're not?................................skinny
Muffins......................................banana
One of your wish list items?.................house
Where you grew up?...........................Minnesota
What you read last...........................Patterson
What are you wearing?........................Uniform
Your TV?.....................................Maryland
Your pets?...................................Sushe
Your computer? ..............................HP
Your life?...................................uncertain
Your mood?...................................lonely
Missing someone?.............................yes
Your car?....................................Passat
Something you're not wearing?................rings
Favorite Store?..............................GAP
Your summer?.................................beautiful
Like someone?................................unfortunately
Your favorite color?.........................blue
Last time you laughed........................today
Last time you cried?.........................yesterday

Story of My Life....

2008-06-12T00:30:00.003-07:00

To Put It Bluntly...

2008-06-11T23:45:00.001-07:00

This is my life.

A little bit of insight...

2008-06-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

I am not usually someone who checks her horoscope, but today I decided to see what 'insights' it could give me, ha ha... For those of you who know about the current 'situation,' you'll see why I was a little taken back at how accurate this was.

Sunday, June 8, 2008 - Disappointment in a friend or lover and/or the realization that you have been neglecting your own needs for socializing, affection, and companionship is indicated. In either case, loneliness and feelings of desolation may arise. Perhaps you are sacrificing pleasure and love for the sake of achievements or to meet responsibilities. However, if you find yourself really unhappy right now, you probably need to reassess the balance in your life between work and play, between emotional needs and practical concerns.

About Me...

2008-06-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

Single or Attached? Single.
Right or Lefty? Righty
Favorite Hobby? Taking/editing photos? Spending time with my friends... Some combination of the two?
Birthday? March 27, 2982
Which makes you how old? 26
Where do you work? Marriott Summit-Watch, Park City, Utah
Do you like it? Yeah, my boss Pete rocks.
Where do you live? Salt Lake City/Sugarhouse
Favorite musician(s)? There are too many to list...Top of the list, however, is SIMPLE PLAN :)
Favorite rainy day activity? Curling up with a good book, or a good movie...Cuddling...But lets face it, cuddling is good no matter what the weather. :)
Kiss or hug? Hmm depends on who the other person is! :) I have to admit, though...There's something extremely comforting about a good hug. (Where is John-Evan when I need him????)
Latest hobby? Just started working out again. Uhm, OUCH!!!! (But I've lost 10 lbs already, so..SWEET!)
Goal(s) for the next year? Lose 50 lbs, stay positive more often, meet Pierre Bouvier and John Cusack. :) Ha, ha...You think I'm kidding...I'm not. haha

Unimpressed

2008-06-02T02:33:00.000-07:00

I received a picture/text message on my phone at 2:58 am while I was out running.... It was my ex, lying in bed without a shirt on, and the text said "Do you miss me?"

When I looked at the settings, I realized he NOT ONLY sent it TO ME, but he sent it to a California number, AS WELL!!!!!

I don't know what he thought he was doing, but he failed. Big time.

I am now certain, more than ever, that he was cheating on me.

Thoughts???

I am learning...

2008-06-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

I am learning that no matter how much you care about someone, no matter how much you love them, there is nothing that you can do to assure they will feel the same way about you. And if they ever did care the same way you did, you can never guarantee that they will feel the same way tomorrow that they felt today.

The hopeless romantic doesn't think she believes in 'happily ever after' anymore.

Pardon My Venting...

2008-05-31T16:34:00.001-07:00

You know what I hate? When people have nothing better to do than screw with the good things in my life!!

I am certainly not perfect and anyone who knows me can tell you that. I am not an expert in relationships. I don't let myself fall in love because of some bitter endings to past relationships. I feel that (for me) the risk of ending up in heartache outweights the reward of possibly finding love. I am very sensitive and when I fall in love, I fall hard.

Recently I was in a relationship with a man I believe I loved. Due to a few variables, the relationship ended. Not only did I lose my boyfriend, I feel I have lost a good friend.

I think that might be what hurts the most. Before I loved him as a boyfriend, I loved him as a friend. Now? Now there is this pit in my stomach that feels empty. I know that sounds dramatic, but I have no other way of describing it. How can a person properly describe the feeling of loss?

Are there things I could have done differently? Absolutely. Are there things I wish that I could do over? Of course. Hindsight is 20/20, and sometimes you have to learn as you go along. It isn't until later you see your mistakes.

I guess I've learned my lesson....If you don't open your heart, you are a lot less likely to get hurt.

Journal Entry: Joey Russo

2008-04-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

"The day I met Joey Russo was a day I won't soon forget!

"I was working at Luciano's Restaurant, as I did each summer, when a group of guys I knew from the neighborhood came in. When they sat down I noticed there was a guy with them that I hadn't seen before. I went over to chat with them and was blown away at how full of himself this guy was! Turns out his name was Joey and he was the cousin of Paul, who had lived two houses down from me as far back as I can remember.

"It was really crazy... As arrogant as Joey was acting, there was still something strangely captivating about him. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and it was so annoying!"

When I first started reading my mother's journal, I came across that entry. I wasn't sure how she could have started with such a bad first impression and then move on to falling in love.
I was certain this was a story I was going to want to know straight from the words of my mother...

The 3 Photographs: The Back Story

2008-03-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

They say, "first things first." Well, seeing as though this is my mother's story, I guess I should start by telling you a little about her.

My grandparents, Salvatore and Anna Romano, were both born to Italian-American parents in New York City and grew up in the same neighborhood in the Bronx. A few years after they were married, my grandfather got a job which required them to move to Staten Island. My grandmother once explained to me that Staten Island was not simply "where they lived," but that it "became their home." I guess that's why they never moved back to the city.

Anyway, It was only a few years after they were married that my grandmother got pregnant with my mother, Isabella Maria Romano.

My grandparents owned a quaint Victorian style home on St. Paul's Avenue, which is now part of the island's historic district. That is where my mother grew up. When you walk down those streets today, you can almost hear the sounds of years past, like ghosts whispering to you and giving you a glimpse of what Staten Island was like before they built the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge that connects the island to New York City.

From what I've been told, my mother had a fairly normal childhood, I suppose. She loved playing in the water in summer, in the snow in the winter and loved to sing and dance in the kitchen while my grandmother was cooking. My grandfather says my mom was always the star, no matter how big or small the audience was.

He's right. My mother was mesmerizing.

I suppose that's what attracted my father to her. Well, that, and her olive complexion and long dark hair.

However, the story of how my mother met my father is one I'll have to save for another day...

The Three Photos

2008-03-31T10:09:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in the valley of Salt Lake City there is a small house that sits on a hill.
There is a bedroom in this house that has yellow walls.
Hanging on those walls are several framed photographs.
Three of those photos tell a tale that I myself wouldn't have believed had I not read the story in my mother's journal after she had died.

This is a story I would like to share with you...

Name Game

2008-03-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

Name the movie this quote is from:

Yesterday, on the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today,
I wish...
I wish...
He'd go away.

Photoshoot #2: Love Is In The Air

2008-03-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

Photoshoot #1

2008-03-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

Last night Kellie and I went to Salt Lake City and we had our first photoshoot. "Our," meaning: Kellie modeled, I photographed. Ha, ha... Today I am going to Provo/Orem to take Poppy & Dan's engagement photos, and possibly some photos of musician and friend, Jeff Stone.

I will be posting some pictures from the photo shoots, in hopes of getting some sort of feedback.

Here are a few that I've got of Kellie so far. More to Follow.

A Little Bit of Magic

2008-03-08T22:29:00.000-08:00

* J o h n & B e n t o n *

When they're on stage, there is

* M A G I C *
in the a i r !!!

Contradiction

2008-03-05T22:41:00.000-08:00

Today I realized that I am a walking contradiction...
I'm confused as hell about a lot of things...
Living in Utah doesn't make it easier...
It makes it harder, I think...

How I long for the days when life was simple and choices were easy.

The Crash

2008-03-01T09:47:00.001-08:00

Nothing has been the same since the crash...

My Car Accident

2008-02-28T14:50:00.000-08:00

I was about 2 miles from my work this morning when I got into a car accident. I don't know what happened. I was was parked, then suddenly I was moving and my airbag was exploding.
I shielded my face with my hand and i got some burns on my arm and wrist and my fingernails started bleeding and i have a bruise or two, but other than that, I'm alright...

My car on the other hand... Not so much...

More later.

2008-02-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

The past two days I've been in an unusually annoyed mood. Every little thing has irritated me. I wanted to start today off right, so I woke up with plenty of time to get ready and look good for work....But when I got in the shower, I realized there wasn't any hot water left. It was lukewarm, AT ITS BEST.

That set me off all over again.

ALL I FREAKIN' WANTED WAS A HOT SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH

02.25.08

2008-02-25T22:32:00.000-08:00

While the city lays sleeping
I stare out onto the bay
There's so much I want to tell you
But I don't know what to say.

I keep thinking about last summer
And all the nights we slept under the stars
It always felt so natural
To wake up in your arms.

To hear you say 'sweet dreams'
and whisper 'good morning' too
I'd give anything right now
To be laying next to you.

I'm not sure what happened
Don't know where we fell apart
But no matter where I've traveled
I've kept you in my heart.

You don't have to say you've missed me
But it sure would be nice to hear
Because without you by my side
It has been a long and lonely year.

I need to see your face
And look into your dark brown eyes
When I tell you I still love you
and want to give it one more try.

I know I've made mistakes
and I'll probably make a thousand more,
But these things I know are true
You're all I want and more...
It's you that I adore...
You're worth fighting for...

The Marvelous Marriott

2008-02-25T08:25:00.000-08:00

You know, it's a dang good thing I work at a hotel.

Yesterday while I was at work, the snow started coming down pretty hard up here in Park City. I-80 was temporarily closed. I was working until 5 PM but because of the unfavorable weather, ended up working until about 6:30. Since I had to be back here this morning at 7:30 and was uncertain about how the road conditions would be (seeing as though the road had already been closed once,) I stayed overnight at the hotel. For free.

I love Marriott!

I got the best nights sleep I've had in awhile and I was on-time for work this morning, without having to deal with slushy and slippery canyon roads.

I really enjoy working here; my co-workers are all hilarious! Even my managers are cool and they'll joke around with the best of 'em.

Yet, as much as I enjoy my job, I'm still really crabby today... I think I just want to go home and change clothes and lay in bed and watch a movie and eat a real meal for a change. Is that too much to ask?

Role Model

2008-02-21T20:44:00.000-08:00

I don't want to be a model.

I want to be a ROLE MODEL!

President Gordon Bitner Hinckley

2008-02-13T21:11:00.000-08:00

Today I had the day off from work, and despite the snow, I drove to the cemetery where President Gordon B. Hinckley was buried next to his wife. It was a lot different than I expected it to be. Since his funeral was not very long ago, I figured his grave site would be adorned with flowers and such. However, this was very much NOT the case. There are two headstones right now; One large one that bears his name and the name of his wife, who died three years ago. And a small one that just has his wife Marjories' name on it. Across the small one lay a single flower. At the base of the larger stone, there were maybe 4 or 5 single flowers. At first I was surprised, but as I drove away I thought about what type of man President Hinckley was. So humble, so unassuming, so kind and caring. He wouldn't want people laying tons of flowers at his grave, he would want them to be out doing the Lord's work or serving their fellow brothers and sisters!

It was on my 'bucket list' to meet this remarkable man and I am heartbroken over his passing.
I am certain I will still meet him, however.....Someday.

In loving memory of President and Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley...

My Bucket List

2008-02-09T12:07:00.000-08:00

Well, before the movie "The Bucket List" came out, a group of my friends and I had started making these same kind of lists, but were referring to them as simply, "our lists."
Here are a few things on mine:

* Climb Bridal Veil Falls in summer (wearing Chacos, of course!)
* Sing on stage with Cary Judd sometime.
* Kiss an Orca whale
* Swim with dolphins
* Go out onto the ocean and stumble upon a pod of Orcas, and then jump into the water with them (This is most likely when kissing one would come into play.)
* Meet the hot guys of Simple Plan. Especially Pierre. I love Pierre. :)
* Find my long lost sister, Joleen.
* Write/compose an amazing song that truly expresses the way that I feel about a certain topic.
* To get in the Guiness Book of World Records with Kellie (world record to break still undecided.)
* Convince adults everywhere that it's wrong to lie to your kids about Santa.
* Become friends with John Cusack.
* Become amazing at photography and sell my photographs.
* Have a "meet-cute" in my life. :)
* Have a role in a major motion picture.
* Learn to play the guitar well.
* Meet Joaquin Phoenix.
* Meet Anthony Hopkins.
* See "Wicked" on Broadway.

2,000 Miles, 9 States and 4 Days Later....

2008-02-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

I finally made it back to Utah! It was a long trip, but a trip I was glad to take! I haven't done much or seen many people since I've been back because I've been busy trying to get my life organized again, meaning finding a job and a place to live.

Well, I got the job part kind of figured out... I got hired at the Summit-Watch Marriott in Park City and will be working at the front desk. I start tomorrow. It doesn't pay enough for what I really need, but A JOB is better than NO JOB. So, until I can find an additional job or a new job all-together, this will have to do.

As far as the living situation goes, I will be moving into my "new" apartment this afternoon. When I say "new," I only mean "new to me." The place itself is totally ghetto! It's a basement apartment and the ceilings are pretty low -- however, my room is pretty big and I have a lot of closet space, so all-in-all, it's not THAT BAD... Plus, it's right off of Parley's Way on I-80 in SugarHouse, so it's close to the canyon and will make my commute to Park City more convenient. Unfortunately, many of my things are still in Maryland. My boss won't be back to her house for a month, so until she sends them to me, I am stuck without and don't have lots of extra money laying around to replace things before then. Kinda a bum deal.

Tonight is the John Allred CD release at Solid Ground Cafe!! Benton Paul is opening, along with a few other performers. Kellie and I are going, and I hoping my friend Kelsey will go, as well! It is sure to be an amazing show!

My computer is finally fixed!!!! It died over a week ago and it wouldn't even load to Windows when I turned it on. Luckily, my friend Ryan was able to fix it for me! Now I can stay a little bit better connected and in-touch with friends! :)

This blog isn't very entertaining, and I'm sorry about that....I guess it's just more of an informational blog. So there. Now you're caught up on the life and times of Sarah. :)

I'll post something interesting soon.

Fall-Back Guy

2008-01-21T21:51:00.001-08:00

For years I've been trying to get my feelings about a certain guy on to paper, but I never had much luck... Tonight I think I captured most of what I wanted to say.

"Fall-Back Guy"

You'd always see me as the girl
Who could never step into your world
But everytime I found someone new
I still compared him next to you

CHORUS:
I thought you were the one
Who could rise the setting sun
But now I finally realize
You were just my fall-back guy
Yeah,...You were just my fall-back guy!

You shouldn't be surprised
That you were perfect in my eyes
You see yourself that way too,
You're not the guy I thought I knew.

CHORUS

But I'm not fallin' back anymore
Know now what I'm lookin' for
And it's time to say goodbye
To my fall-back guy...
Yeah,...You were just my fall-back guy!

CHORUS

Favorite Things...

2008-01-04T17:32:00.001-08:00

Besides photography, one of my favorite things is music. I love all kinds of music, and if you think "everyone says that," I'll let you look through my iPod to prove that I mean it.

For those of you in Utah, there are a few people I know who perform regularly and have a few cds available (with some new cds coming before March!) and I just wanted to familiarize you with them...

The picture above is of Benton Paul. He's pretty popular among the Provo music scene. He is releasing his second album ("Grey") at the Covey Art Center in Provo on March 6th. He has sent me a few songs from the new album and I have to say they are very polished and sound fantastic!! If you have heard his album "The Wise & The Weak," be prepared to be blown away at how much he has grown as an artist/entertainer!!!

The picture below is of John Allred and he is the other performer I'd like to educate you on. Though based out of Salt Lake, John has been a favorite at the Provo venue, "Velour" since it opened 2 years ago. For the past several years he has been performing with his band, "ALLRED." Recently, the band members decided to go in separate directions and are now performing solo. John's songs have such depth and emotion behind them, you can't help but feel his pain or his joy and sympathize with whatever situation he is singing about. John is releasing a cd on February 9th at Solid Ground Cafe, in Sandy.

A Stroll Through The Park...

2007-12-29T23:52:00.001-08:00

I went to New York City on Friday and came home Saturday afternoon, and here are a few of the pictures I snapped while there. Most were taken at Central Park.

I love You More

2007-12-29T16:13:00.000-08:00

(A song about being secretly in love with your best friend...)

Making the most of what I have
That's not what this is
Oh I couldn't have stopped it if I tried
You broke into my heart
And you filled my mind with doubt
But still I'm reaching out
And i'm telling you...

I LOVE YOU MORE...
Could it be that i've found someone?
It's you i adore
You cast your last dime
Now it'll just take some time
And they say she's gonna run
And when she does,
We'll both know it's because...
I LOVE YOU MORE...
I LOVE YOU MORE...

Please don't say that we're the same
All she did was cause you pain.
And when you say
I mean the world to you
Are you sure that this is true?
Oh, you think the world of everyone
You could rise the setting sun.
What if I told you that...

I LOVE YOU MORE
Can it be that I found someone?
It's you I adore
You've cast your last dime
Now it'll just take some time
And they say she's gonna run
And when she does
We'll both know it's because
I LOVE YOU MORE...
I LOVE YOU MORE...

Funny Men Are Fabulous!

2007-12-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

What is it about funny men that is SO undeniably sexy?

This is BJ Novak.

BJ Novak is funny.

BJ Novak is sexy.

The end.

As Cliche' As It Sounds....

2007-12-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.

There are so many things I wish I could say to you, but I can't.

You raised the bar. You showed me what being a loyal friend was. You taught me that humor can get you through the hardest and most painful situations in life. When I was down, you pulled me up. When I was over the top, you pulled me back down. You were the constant in my life.

You were my compass. You were my map.

I miss you. . .

Holiday Baking

2007-12-24T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today I spent several hours in the kitchen baking desserts to bring to Christmas dinner tomorrow. I was invited to a family in the ward's house and I offered to bring dessert. The mother of the household will also be making dessert, so, unsure of what to bring, I decided to make LOTS of things and bring a variety... Here's what I made:

Fudge squares

"Cakies" -- A cookie that Brennan taught me how to make using cake mix. (Thus, Cake + Cookies = Cakies)

Magic Cookie Bars

Turtle Temptations

Hopefully there will be something for everyone to enjoy.

(Oh, in addition to these, I also made another version of the turtle tempations that doesn't have the walnuts on it, and I made a different type crust because one of the missionaries is allergic to nuts and i wanted to accomodate to that. The original crust was made of crushed pecans.)

Baking is a tradition of mine during the holidays. My grandmother and I used to do it every year since as far back as I can remember.

Are there any holiday traditions that YOU do? :)

I Love Jim.

2007-12-23T20:14:00.000-08:00

Yep. Just finished watching the 3rd season of "The Office."
It's official.

I love Jim.

(I got bored, so I made a few John Krasinski graphics, ha ha...)

On An Unrelated Note...

2007-12-23T18:09:00.001-08:00

Oh right... Like I really needed another reason to shop at the Gap. Now that John Krasinski's adorable face is plastered on Gap windows everywhere it sure doesn't help my 'retail therapy' addiction. :)

LOVE him!

Butterflies In My Tummy!

2007-12-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

The new guy makes me feel like this... :)

New York, New York! What a Wonderful Town!

2007-12-21T08:51:00.000-08:00

I am finally going to New York City!!! My boss told me today that for my Christmas present she's taking me to New York (we're riding a fancy train up there) next Friday, and we'll come home late Saturday, so we'll basically be spending two days in New York! She knows I love photography and have always wanted to photograph New York in Winter, so she thought this would be a cool present!

And she was right!!! :) I am so excited!

We'll be missing the chaos of New Years Eve by a few days, but that's alright... I am excited to be able to go places without the hassle of the NYE crowd.

Places/Things I want to photograph:

* Rockefeller Center
* Brooklyn Bridge
* Times Square
* Central Park
* Statue of Liberty

I may not get to do all of those things, since it's going to be such a short trip, but the drive to New York isn't all that far, and so I am sure we'll go again. My boss loves New York, too. Plus, my friend Heidi and I are planning to drive up to Palmyra in Spring, and she served her mission in NYC, so I'm sure we'll stop in the city. :)

YAY!!!! Happy Holidays!

Really??

2007-12-20T23:14:00.000-08:00

How Matt Damon was ever chosen to be PEOPLE Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive," is far beyond my comprehension. I mean,...REALLY? THAT GUY???

I mean, no offense to Matt Damon, because he IS good looking, but COME ON.... I think the people who choose "SMA" nominees should look at some of the guys on daytime television before making any final decisions! Days of Our Lives alone has about 30 guys that could EASILY beat out Matt Damon, in my opinion. The "judges" have also CLEARLY overlooked the ever-so-handsome Ryan Reynolds!!!! LOVE him!

Sigh.

Oh well, whaddya' do.

Speaking of good smells...

2007-12-20T22:58:00.001-08:00

Tonight I decided that if I get a say about it, my space in Heaven will smell like this. It's the most celestial scent I know. :)

The Smell of Summer

2007-12-19T15:55:00.000-08:00

It's December 19th and do you know what I smelled today? Freshly cut grass!

I can honestly say that I don't ever remember smelling that in the middle of December. Granted, I have also never lived in a place that didn't have even a single snowflake on the ground at this point in the year, either.

The smell of freshly cut grass is one of my favorite smells, probably because it reminds me of summer. Nothing beats going for a drive in summer, windows down, music up, and the smell of freshly cut grass filling the air as it gently hits your face.

Happy day, all is well.

Letters

2007-12-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

I love writing letters.

I have loved writing letters for as long as I can remember. I always loved it when my friends would go on missions because it gave me yet another person to send a letter to. I had saved every letter I'd ever recieved from my friends on their missions, but unfortunately, they were amongst the items that I couldn't fit into my car when I moved out to Maryland. The family that was "holding" my stuff said it was no problem at all, and they would send my things to me as soon as I sent them some money. All well and good, except they didn't save my things. They threw them away. Bye, bye, years of irreplaceable letters and amazing mission stories....

Luckily, I had another small shoebox that had all the letters from my friend David's mission, and I was able to fit that in my car.

Oh, another thing that got thrown away when they trashed (literally) my stuff was my baptismal certificate...That would have been nice to have...And my old journals, wish I still had those. Oh, and some of the things that my friend Brennan (who died) gave me, yeah, those things would be nice to have back, too...

*sarah takes a few deep breaths to compose herself*

Back to the point... Wait, is there a point?

Anyway. I love letters. I'm currently writing to 5 or 6 people. There's something about recieving actual mail (as opposed to e-mail) that puts a smile on my face. :)

Now that I think about it, I guess this blog really has no point. I just wanted to have a new post up. :)

I Love To See The Temple...

2007-12-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry I keep posting pictures of THE SAME TEMPLE, but I think it's sooo beautiful! I can't help it, I go there several nights a week just to photograph the place and feel that overwhelming peace...

Photography 101

2007-12-03T21:47:00.000-08:00

This pic is FAR too over-exposed because my shutter speed was much too slow, but I'm working on it. Ha, ha...

My 8 Year Anniversary

2007-12-01T14:32:00.000-08:00

Today marks the day I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints eight years ago. Lately I have been reflecting on my life since that blessed event. I am definately not where I thought I would be, in many ways.

Two nights ago, the Elders in my area called to ask if I would like to go with them when they taught a discussion to an investigator. I cleared it with my boss and later met them at the chapel not far from my house.

As I sat there listening to the missionaries speak, reading scriptures with them, I was taken back in my mind to the days when I was the eager investigator discovering the church. What tender memories those are!!

Last night I went with the Elders (in seperate cars, don't panic) to the Washington DC Temple grounds for a concert in the visitors center. Marvin Goldstein, reknowned LDS pianist and convert, was playing a medly of Christmas songs to kick off the "Festival of Lights" held on temple grounds. He played traditional Christmas songs, with a beautiful twist of course, and ended by playing the Primary song, "I Am a Child of God." It was incredible!

After the concert, the Elders and I took some pictures outside. I told them I'd snap a few of them and develop them so they could send them home to their families, etc.

In observance of my baptismal anniversary, I just thought I'd share a picture of the Temple. Enjoy.

Memories...

2007-11-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

I really miss Brennan.....

Phrases that make me wonder....

2007-11-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

We've all used them. They are used every day by people all over the world. Lately, however, common phrases and figures of speech have made me chuckle when I actually thought about them... Allow me to share a few:

1.) "They have been selling like HOTCAKES!" -- A phrase generally used to describe an item that is selling rapidly and is hard to keep in-stock. Hmmm... I never knew "hotcakes"/pancakes were such a hot commodity... Am I the only person that is apparently missing out on this trend? Are the rest of you frequently rushing out for hotcakes???

2.) "I'm so hungry I could eat a HORSE!" -- While I've never TASTED horse meat, I can be certain in knowing that if I was especially hungry, as the phrase suggests, "horse" would not be my first choice for a meal... siiiick. Why not say something like, "I'm so hungry I could eat an extra-large burger" or "an extra-large chicken salad?" -- WHY would you put "HORSE" in that sentence??? "Horse" just doesn't sound appetitzing to me... Maybe I'm alone on that one.

3.) "Let's be honest for a minute," -- ...I guess I wasn't aware we were LYING before???

4.) "Let's touch base" -- Was this phrase coined by a sports fanatic? I mean really, "TOUCH BASE?" I am not playing baseball, I have no bases. Why does "touch base" mean the same thing as "communicate?" No wonder foreign people have a difficult time learning English. Ha, at that, no wonder half my graduating CLASS had trouble with English!

A Healthy Computer That Makes Me Sick...

2007-11-16T13:06:00.000-08:00

So, I apparently had a virus on my computer, causing it to do all kinds of crazy things, such as not allow Internet Explorer or Foxfire to load, programs running slow, etc. I took my laptop to Best Buy to have Geek Squad check it out. They agreed that it was a virus and said it was most likely caused from a firesharing program I had installed. They suggested I buy an external hard drive, save all of my files to it, then bring the computer back in so they could delete the hard drive and reinstall the operating system....

So I did that...

And now I regret it.

I have to reinstall all of my programs (and I didn't realize I had so many!) some of which I can't even find the CD FOR anymore....

For example... Today I took advantage of the blue sky, sunshine and beautiful autumn leaves and went to a nearby trail to take pictures. When I got home, I immediately went over to my computer to upload my pictures (one of my favorite hobbies) so that I could edit them and post them online. Much to my dismay, I had forgotten that neither my camera software NOR my editing software were installed on this newly cleaned and refurbished computer. I went to go look for my camera's software CD so I could get on my way with my photo editing, but had no such luck finding said software. And I looked EVERYWHERE. Twice!

So I called Canon and ordered a new disc. They are $19.95, plus I had to pay for shipping+handling, so total it came to around $27.00.... And it won't be here til next week.

ALL THIS because Geek Squad suggested reinstalling my OS. FYI, if Geek Squad ever tells you, "We will have to delete your hard drive and reinstall your OS" it TRANSLATES TO, "We really have NO CLUE what's wrong, so we'll just delete everything and let you start over."

Take it from me, folks....It's NOT the solution.

Just My Luck

2007-11-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

There was one thing I failed to mention in my previous post and wanted to take a minute to jot down now...

Cary played at Mount St. Mary's University, which is a Catholic school. I have never stepped foot onto a Catholic Campus, and what little I know about the Catholic faith is what I have learned from the daytime television soap opera, "Days Of Our Lives." Just a guess, but I'd venture to say that's not the most educational way to learn. ;)

I was unfamiliar with the campus, so I drove up early to find the building where the show would be had later that night. I had to ask directions several different times, because each person's ideas on how to get there were less than helpful. Nice people, but terrible at giving directions.

That is, until I met Thomas. :)

Thomas was standing outside the Seminary building, and I stopped to ask him for directions. He didn't know where the building was, but told me that up front and offered to walk with me until I found it. We stopped and asked a priest, and he was uncertain of where it was, also. We kept walking, and saw another student who was on the phone. Thomas interrupted the student's phone call and the student happily pointed us in the right direction. We walked around back to where Purcell Hall was located and since we had reached my destination, Thomas and I said goodbye and parted ways. He was really cute and had a great smile, very friendly, and I realized later....Will make a great PRIEST! Guys that go to Seminary become PRIESTS...

*sigh*

So much for my run in with the cute Catholic boy who is interested in theology and art! Isn't that just my luck?

Cary Judd - "Sarah"

2007-11-10T23:41:00.001-08:00

For those of you who know me, you know that I love music and that it's a big part of my life. I spend a lot of time attending concerts (or at least, I did when I lived in Provo) and supporting the local musicians. Not being able to go to these shows has been one of the hardest things about living out in Maryland.

While in Provo, I became friends with a musician from Wyoming named Cary Judd. On Saturday I had the opportunity to see Cary perform out here at Mount St. Mary's University. He played his new song, "Sarah," and I thought I'd post it. My video doesn't quite capture how incredible the acoustics of that room were, but trust me, it sounded great!

Donny Osmond and Jimmy Kimmel

2007-11-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

funniest video I've seen in a LONG TIME :) What would we do without youtube? ha ha...

My adventure as an ER patient that started as a hospital VISITOR.

2007-11-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, you read that right. I went to the hospital today to visit someone and I ended up in the ER.
While I was sitting in the hall while the doctor was talking to my friend, I started having trouble breathing. The simple task of breathing was causing tremendous pain to shoot through my chest and back. That tends to be a problem when it comes to something vital like getting oxygen. ;) I talked to the nurse at the desk near where I was, and she sent me down to the ER.

I walked up to the desk and was admitted immediately. They did an EKG, took some X-Rays and did some blood work. I was freaking out and on the verge of tears, I was so scared.

Then, a male nurse named John came into my curtained off area... I couldn't believe how quickly he got me to calm down. He put his hand on my shoulder, and ... wow... I won't go into tons of detail, but let's just say I was thankful this particular nurse was on staff tonight, because he helped me get through it.

In the end, I am okay. I am back home now, thankfully.

I love you all!

4 Way Stops, Round-abouts and East Coast drivers...Oh my!

2007-11-04T06:16:00.000-08:00

People in Maryland simply can NOT drive.
They cannot master the concept of simple things, such as 4 way stops and round-abouts. Personally, I find these two road designs tend to make driving easier and less of a hassle... That is, unless you live in Maryland.
In Utah, generally people do just fine with things like this, but out here people just do not grasp the concept. For example...There are both round-abouts and 4-way-stops near my house, and people will pull up the 4 way, the person in front of them will go (which means it's the perpendicular person's turn to go) and instead of letting the appropriate persons drive through the stop, they just continue to follow the person in front of them, which of course causes mini "traffic jams" in the middle of the stop, and people confused about whose turn it is...Not that anyone follows the rules for "taking turns."

Ugh. Someone needs to teach a class about the rules of driving. And, said class should be mandatory to attend if you've ever driven around me and annoyed me with your poor driving example.

:)

Things that people do that BUG ME...

2007-10-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

Lately I've noticed how rude people are and how absolutely inconsiderate they are of others around them.

A few examples:

The other day I was at Target purchasing the box set of season 3 of the NBC television show, "Medium." As I was walking down the aisle of the 2nd floor, the glass wall to the escalator was immediately to my right. Coming towards me were a man and a woman, who appeared to be together. When they got close to me, did they move further to their right (as to avoid running right into me) so that I could still have room to walk (since, clearly, the wall was next to me, and I was not in a position to move any further to the right to be out of their way, unless i had gone to the complete opposite side of the aisle, which was maybe 6 feet away and would have been completely awkward, when all they had to do was move 1 foot.) -- OH NO. They didn't move. I was forced to stand STILL and turn my left shoulder back, almost putting me sideways, so that we wouldn't collide as they walked by. How rude! When I am clearly about to interfere with the path someone is walking, without thinking, I move to the direction that would easily avoid the "collision." After that incident, I paid closer attention to people that I had similar situations with, and it seems as though everyone expected ME to do the moving, even though I was not always in the position to do so. Again, I was walking down the sidewalk, closest to the curb/road, and a few people were walking towards me. When they got close, they didn't move, but continued to take up the whole sidewalk (Jerks.) Therefore, ONCE AGAIN, I was forced to move. This time, I had to step into the street for a few steps to avoid running in to anyone. It is to the point where I'm so annoyed with people like this that I am often tempted to just run into them, as that is clearly what would happen if *I* was one of those people who just expected THEM to move.... Grrr...

Also... It was raining today. In fact, it has been raining for a few days. I love observing the habits of people on these days; especially people who are driving. What irks me is that when a pedestrian is outside standing IN THE RAIN and no cars will stop to let them cross the street, or cross into the parking lot. It's even worse if they are standing there without an umbrella. I know that when *I* am that pedestrian, I get so annoyed with the people who are warm and dry, driving past in their heated cars while I am freezing and getting soaked in the rain. Therefore, when I am the driver, I am always extra aware of the pedestrians, and I slow down/stop to let them get to wherever it is they may be headed. Am I the only one who does that? I guess I know how much it sucks to be a pedestrian sometimes.

Well that's enough of my people-bashing for now. Ha ha... If I think of anything else that people (in general) do that bugs me, I'll be sure to post. :)

Before & After

2007-10-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

There are no wrong answers, and this is NOT a loaded question... But which do you prefer? Before or after?

Embarrassing Moments by Sarah

2007-10-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Last night as I was laying in my bed, unable to sleep, my mind pondered all of the embarrassing moments I've had in my life. Of course, at the time these things happened I was mortified, but now I am able to look back and laugh (and blog) about them. These are listed in no particular order.

E.M. #1:

My friend Anna and I were hanging out one day and decided to go to the mall. Me, being the natural flirt that I am, saw an extremely attractive guy walking out of the mall just as we were about to walk in. I told Anna I was gonna say something to him. As we headed towards the double doors, I turned my face toward him and said, "You've got beautiful eyes!" He smiled and said "Thank you," and I'm sure it was at that exact moment when I turned my head back toward the doorway, only to run into the beam in the middle of the double doors, thus causing me to get an immediate black eye. Nice job, self....No style points for you on that one!

E.M. #2:

I used to work at the front desk of a resort in Minnesota. All employees were allowed to go golfing for free and bring one other person with them. I was friends with people at the pro shop, so they would occasionally let me go with two people, or let two people go in place of me and a friend. I wasn't the biggest fan of golf, but I knew the Missionaries (Elders) in the area WERE. Sometimes on preparation day they would take a few hours to go golfing. One evening, the night before they planned to come to the resort for said activity, they called me (while I was working) to verify their tee-time and all that jazz. While I was on the phone with one of the elders, another phone rang. I put the elders on hold and I picked up the other line. My friend Becky had called to chat. I excitedly told her I was talking to the missionary that I had a crush on, and mentioned to her that he was a pro-surfer and really good looking. Becky and I hung up and I went to pick up the line that the Elder was "holding" on.... I am sure you can guess where this story is headed. And you're right. I apparently didn't press the "HOLD" button completely because he had heard everything I just told Becky. He called me out on it to! I was mortified! HA HA HA, but he and I got along GREAT, so thankfully there wasn't too much awkwardness. He even visited me in Utah after his mission was over!

E.M. #3:

This actually happened to me on several occasions, but instead of listing each time individually, I'm going to lump them into one general "moment." Often times I would be texting with a guy I've got a crush on AND one of my best female friends at the same time (telling her about texting with my crush, etc.) Apparently my brain gets jambled because COUNTLESS TIMES I have sent a text ABOUT the guy I'm crushing on TO THE GUY, instead of to my friend! I used to do that with a guy named Jonathan (aka "Hot Jonathan") and my friend Lisa alllll the time! I wanted to DIE each time! Ha ha ha! Oh, even WORSE, one time I was in a room with my friend Lisa and her roommate and this really obnoxious guy Austin. I sent Lisa a text that said, "Oh my gosh, does he EVER shut up?" and then I heard Austin's phone beep.... *OH NO, PLEASE TELL ME I DIDN'T JUST DO THAT!* I quickly checked my phone -- oh YES, I DID just do that! I sent the text to AUSTIN, instead of LISA! I felt about a foot tall.

E.M. #4

This one happened this past January. I was working at the Marriott in Provo and we were having our yearly holiday party. Everyone gets a ticket when they enter the party and they have a drawing for prizes later in the evening. Everyone around me was winning really cool stuff; big TVs, Keyboards, Digital Cameras, Free nights at hotels in Park City, etc. When my number was called, I won a DUFFEL BAG. As spoiled as this sounds, I was a bit disappointed. There aren't enough prizes for everyone every year (which is SO dumb) and the year before I hadn't won anything, so suffice it to say, I was bummed when I only won a duffel bag. When I went up to "claim my prize" I meant to say something like, "Oh great, just what I need! To be able to bring even more of my crap with me to work!" (Because people always teased me about having everything under the SUN in my satchel -- for example, one day someone's shirt was sticking to them and I happened to have Static Guard in my bottomless-pit of a bag...) What actually came out of my mouth was, "Oh great, just what I need... More crap!" I realized what I said had come out completely wrong and tried to fix it, but how do you back peddle out of something like that gracefully? HA HA HA...

E.M. #5

This is a picture of the resort I previously mentioned. The building you see is the convention center, where I worked at the front desk. The sky-walk leads to the recreation center, dining room, and several guest rooms. I remember the first year that the Minnesota Wild hockey team (my favorite NHL team) and their farm team, the Houston Aeros (AHL) stayed at the resort and I got to check in so many of the good looking men I had watched play during the season. The guys were all staying over in the rooms that attach to the sky-walk. Some of the girls and I had been drooling over the hotties previously in the day, and decided to walk over to the Rec Center after we got off work. When we walked in on the ground level, all of them were standing in their boxers on the balcony above us. They all stopped conversation and stared at us. Some of them said "hi!" but it was one of those "OMG, this is embarrassing" moments, so we walked back out and stood outside the door talking. I had said something like, "Willie Mitchell is SO HOT!" and then suddenly, I heard a man's voice from above me say "Well then why don't you come up here and hang out with me?" I looked up at the sky-walk, where the voice had come from...Yeahhh, it was Willie! He was listening to our conversation through the open window. It was hilarious, yet I'm sure I turned bright red! He turned out to be a really cool guy, as did the others we met. I sure do have a bad habit of opening my mouth at the wrong time! Ha, ha!

Well, that's enough embarrassing moments for now. If I think of any other good ones, I'll be sure to post.

A breath of clean, mountain air

2007-10-07T14:28:00.001-07:00

I got to visit Utah this weekend, and was able to spend 2 days with some of my best friends! Here are just a few snapshots that bring a smile to my face...

This is me and Crystal. We worked together at the Marriott and become really good friends! We always had so much fun together!

Brock is definitely one of my best guy friends -- there isn't anyone on this earth that can make me laugh like he can! :) And the faces this guy pulls out for photos, LOL, it's fantastic. :)

Awww, Kellie!!! :) Yay for best friends!!!

Rich is such a stud! Last year, either he or Brennan would come with me to "Game Night" at Don's or Dave's every Sunday evening. :) What a sensational guy! :)

This is Miss Beautiful Beth. :) Definitely one of the sweetest girls I've met in my life! :) She's going to change peoples' lives for the better.

The night before I left I stopped over at my "brother" and "sister-in-law's" house -- This is Alan. One of the coolest guys EVER!!! :)

Another brother! Mark and I have been "family" for a long time now :) People tell us they see the family resemblance and we just laugh. :)

Beth and Rich -- I am not sure what it is about this photo, but I totally LOVE IT :) It makes me smile!!!

I was tagged! The ABCs of Sarah!

2007-10-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

A- Attached or single: Single
B- Best Friend: I have a few best friends!!!! ... (and my Grandma...cheesy, but true. LOVE HER.)
C-Cake or Pie: pie..PUMPKIN, specifically. :)
D- Day of choice: Saturday -- it's my only day off!
E- Essential Item: Victoria's Secret lipgloss.
F- Favorite Color: Hmmm I gotta work in combos for this one... Either pink and brown, or turquoise and brown.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms: gummi worms, no contest. the sourer, the better!
H- Hometown: Aitkin, Minnesota
I- Indulgence(s): Bubble baths and chocolate.....Literally...Eating chocolate while I'm IN the bubble bath! :)
J- January or July: July! (As long as I have a canyon to retreat to when it gets too hot!)
K- Kids: Sam (9) and Rachel (7) are the two kids that I NANNY for; I FEEL like they're mine, but alas, (thank Heaven) they're not!
L-Life is Incomplete Without: my friends...and of course, my Grandma and my dog, Sushe!
M- Marriage Date: ummm stay tuned
N- Number of Siblings: I have 2 half sisters, but Sam(antha) is the only one that I know...
O- Oranges or Apples: love them both. :) Would probably pick Oranges if I had to, though.
P- Phobias or Fears: creepy-crawlies (especially spiders,) spiders, being stranded somewhere scary (I watch scary movies and Court TV, people...I know what psychos are out there)
Q- Quotes: "I can't shower without BENTON!" -- Kellie (Of course, she meant w/o listening to his CD!)
R- Reason To Smile: Going to be in Utah and free of screaming children in 2 days!!!! "Yesssss!"
S- Season: Autumn, for shizzle.
T- Tag Three +: Brock, Whitney, Don
U- Unknown Fact About Me: Wow, I've got lots of deep, dark secrets that not many people know about....But since this is a little more openly read than the corners of my mind, I'll keep it sweet: I believe that art is a way to brush off the dust from the soul that everyday life leaves behind.
V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: Meat.... As long as it's chicken, pepperoni, sausage, white turkey or ground beef. :) The other stuff kinda grosses me out.
W- Worst Habit: Over analyzing EVERYTHING....
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: This is a strange one... I've never had an ultrasound, but I am sure it will be cool when I'm actually pregnant and have one! :)
Y- Your Favorite Food: BrickOven pizza, holla.
Zodiac: Aries

Guys vs. Girls

2007-10-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

One thing I've noticed lately is that when it comes to spending money, guys and girls are VERY different. Also, they are very different in how they TALK about spending money. Of course, this is a generalization and not every guy or every girl fits, but....

For example, ... I recently went out with a guy who couldn't stop talking about how much money he spent on things. "Do you like this shirt, Sarah? It cost $70!" ... "Sarah, do you like this cologne? It's by Calvin Klein; it was very expensive!"

*sarah pukes*

Girls, however, brag about how CHEAP they get things!

Girl 1: "I LOVE your shoes!"
Girl 2: "Thanks! I got 'em on super-sale for $10 bucks!"

In my opinion, when people talk about how much money they spend on things in a bragging sort of way, it is VERY unattractive.

"Shop-a-holic" Part Two: And the closet came tumbling down...

2007-09-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was on the main floor of the house, watching "Blades of Glory" in the living room, and my boss was in the computer room adjacent to where I was, we both suddenly heard a crash. Unsure of what it would have been, we both thought it sounded like it came from the basement.

We walked down the steps and saw that the living room was fine, my bathroom was fine, and then.... I looked in my bedroom. The shelf in my closet that held all of my clothes came ripping out of the wall and crashing to the floor.

We stared at the mess in unbelief, neither of us able to speak a word, other than letting out a shocked, "...Uhh, Okay...?"

Clearly this means one thing...

The blog about me being a shop-a-holic is more true than initially assessed.

Shop-a-holic

2007-09-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

"Hi, everyone. My name is Sarah and I am a shop-a-holic."

I don't know what it is that I find so appealing about shopping, but I can't seem to stop doing it. Maybe it's sewn into the threads of my gender, or maybe it's a stereotype that I have picked up somewhere along the way (that of, girls love to shop.) Whatever the case may be, I can't remember a time when I didn't love going to the mall to shop.

In fact, it doesn't even need to be the mall. It could be Target. It could be the grocery store. It could even be some random book store. If they sell things, I find myself drawn to the place. I can't explain it.

I always knew I loved to shop, but it never fully "hit me" until a few weeks ago when I was doing laundry. I looked at all of the clothes that I had just taken out of the dryer and was about to hang up when I realized, "I didn't own ANY of these clothes when I lived in Utah a few months ago." I have bought myself a completely new wardrobe. Yet, every time I go to the GAP, I find a new sweater I simply "have to have."

We all have things that make us "feel good." Some people work out, some people write music, some people volunteer with charities or non-profit organizations. Me? I shop.

Maybe it's not the most noble way to feel better, or even the most productive way... But the bottom line is, I'm still "okay" with that. My checking account suffers, but my closet flourishes. And somehow, it seems like a fair trade.

Wow. Talk about fitting a stereotype, huh?

How about you? What stereotype do YOU fit??

Friendship isn't what it used to be...

2007-09-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

You know what I'm sick of? People who call you a "friend," yet put absolutely no effort into the supposed "friendship." I didn't think the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" applied to friends. Clearly, I was mistaken.

I don't know, maybe friendship just isn't what it used to be.

2007-09-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

I have always been a fan of the smooth and soulful voice of Donny Osmond. I found out that he was going to be performing at the House of Blues in Atlantic City, NJ on September 1st and I decided I "had" to go see him! I had gone to a concert of his once before (when I lived in Minnesota) and that has made for countless funny conversations among friends for reasons that shall remain untold. If you're reading this, you probably know "the story" anyway. ;-)

Well, here is a (rather rough) clip from the show tonight; I love the song "Puppy Love" so I really got a kick out of this! :) Bro' Osmond is definitely entertaining :) I can see where his children get their charm.

Then & Now

2007-08-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

I am so homesick for Utah... Someone please remind me why I left...?

L - O - V - E

2007-08-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A Racial Question...

2007-08-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

So I got to thinking about people who are of multiple races and I started wondering something; Maybe one of you can help me solve this...

Why is it that when someone is half one race and half another, people always refer to them as the darker race?

Example... I have a friend that's half Caucasian and half Korean. Yet, when people who don't know her name are referring to her, they would say "you know, the tiny, little cute Asian girl." Or if someone is half Caucasian and half African American, they'd be referred to as "Black."

Why is it that the half CAUCASIAN part always gets overlooked? If someone who was 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 Caucasian was to fill out one of those "check which box best describes your race" or whatever, do you think they would be more inclined to check the "Caucasian" or the "Chinese" box?

Maybe I'm the only one who would even think of something like that... I hope that doesn't seem racist of me, because I'm definitely NOT!!! I am just curious...

One of my guy friends is half Caucasian and half Asian and I always tell him he's my favorite "cocky-asian" :) Another one of my friends is Asian and for the longest time I referred to her as the "lazy asian" and now we condensed it to the "Lasian." :) Gotta love Hollywood for putting the word-meshing thing into everyday play. "Bennifer" "TomKat" "Branjolina" etc...

Annapolis

2007-08-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

Call me crazy, but one of my favorite things to do in my spare time is explore! I love going all by myself to a city I've never been to discover it's hidden treasures. Annapolis, MD is about an hour away, so today I plan to go there. I am hoping to get some good photos of the Navy yard and the harbor, etc. Until I have pics of my own to share with you, here's a taste of things to come.

My So-Called "Life."

2007-08-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

At various points during the course of a normal day something funny will happen and I'll think to myself, "self, this would make an interesting blog; remember this!" Of course, I never do. Thus, my posts are what they are. So, uhm...Sorry about that! :)

Here's an update on my so-called "life," however:

Saturday was supposed to be the start of a relaxing, quiet, 100% me-time filled week... The family that I nanny for was going to Ocean City, NJ for their yearly family vacation. I was invited to go, but opted to stay home so it would actually FEEL like a "vacation" for me. Day 1 was GREAT! Day 2 was Great! Day 3 was great! Day 4 (*sigh*) it all came to a depressing halt.

You see, I take care of two children; a 7 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. The boy has high-functioning Autism (he doesn't stop talking, bounces a lot and does not understand or pick up on normal social Qs) and mood disorders (he'll go from sweet to wicked in the blink of an eye.) (The girl has no special needs.) Anywho, so on the morning of day 4 (at 7:30 am) I received a phone call from the mother informing me she could not handle her son's non-stop violent behavior and constant cursing and so she didn't know what to do with him other than to (are you ready for this) have him brought home FOR ME to take care of whilst everyone else remained at the beach.

Sure enough, a few hours later the dad (the parents are separated but met the mom half way home to pick up the son) dropped the 9 year old boy off for me to take care of for the remaining 4.5 days. It was at that point that I realized my "week of relaxation" was long gone. We are currently on day 6 of my 'would-have-been' vacation. The first two days of him being home have been very challenging, I'll say that much. Luckily, when it comes to him, I somehow find the strength to keep my "cool" and not scream everything that runs through my head. It's all about "choices." IE: "Okay, well, you can choose to follow the directions I'm giving you, OR you can choose to go to your room and take a time out. It's up to you, doesn't matter to me." His school therapist taught me that one, and I gotta tell ya, it works every time. :) Thank God for small favors!

So anyway... that's pretty much been my life over the last few days. Before hoping online and posting these useless ramblings I was making homemade cards, kinda scrapbooking-style. Yeahhh, I'm soooo Mormon, I know... What can I say? I lived in PROVO for three years. (And I loved every second of it, I must add.)

So anyway... Yeah...That's all for now.

The Benton

2007-08-10T17:02:00.001-07:00

One day I plan to own a grand hotel in either New York City, Chicago or Los Angeles and I plan to call it "The Benton." Why? Well, first of all, I think it sounds like an awesome name for a posh hotel, and second, I want to hire Benton Paul to play there. See the picture above? Yeah, that's Benton. He's pretty much amazing.

The above photo is one he sent me to edit (this being the finished product.) Good times. I just wish I could have been there to take it myself. If you haven't heard his new stuff, you're missing out. He is putting out a new album around Christmas, and I plan to be in Utah for the CD release. It's sure to be a rockin' good time. You can catch up on some of his tunes at either of the following sites: http://www.bentonpaul.com or http://www.myspace.com/bentonpaul

And like every great musician, his songs are available for download on itunes. Show the brotha' some love. After all, he IS going to have a hotel named after him one day. ;)

High School Days

2007-08-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

** POST HAS BEEN DELETED BY AUTHOR **

I'm so sick of...

2007-08-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

I am so sick of guys who play "the game." Argue this all you want, but the game is for guys in high school. That's all I'm saying for now. I'm too upset to write anything else.

Reality TV is in reality, a waste of time!

2007-07-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, after a long day of taking care of screaming children, I like to wind down the evening by chatting online with friends, watching tv or taking bubble baths. Recently, I have seen some commercials for new reality TV shows that make.....ha ha....how ironic, one just came on as I was typing this... Anyway, as I was saying.... these shows make me want to puke! Do I REALLY care that Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are reuniting after a zillion years? I can honestly say that I don't. Watching a recovering drug addict disrespecting his old friend's wife isn't my cup of tea. Do I REALLY care that Scott Baio is 45 and single and some network finds it interesting enough to put on the air? Am I going to watch it? NOPE! It's bad enough that they stick a bunch of whining, drop dead gorgeous strangers into a house together and tape their lives in the "real world," -- because, HOW REAL or likely is THAT situation?? Do people getting "voted off the island" or "kicked out of the house" spike interest with any of you? I must say that the quality of shows on television has been rapidly deteriorating, and these new shows are no exception.

Thoughts?

A Quote

2007-07-23T19:01:00.000-07:00

"I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not here to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's BEAUTIFUL."

~ Unknown

2007-07-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

In the last two weeks I have learned more about myself than I have in the last two years, give or take. I am very grateful for the friends that I have who have helped me in my endeavor to understand myself better. However, they probably have no idea that they have done so.

When I took this job, I was so heartbroken that I was leaving Utah. I was heartbroken because that is where my life had been for the past 3 years, and that's where the majority of my friends were/are. I had become a different person while living there, and I liked who I was becoming. I was surrounded by great people who were incredible influences, had Church headquarters 45 minutes away, LDS resources at my fingertips and the landscape (in my mind,) was beautiful.

Yet, when I was offered this job, I felt compelled to take it. I wasn't sure why, seeing as though I absolutely did NOT want to leave Utah for the above mentioned reasons (and then some.) However, I think I have finally figured out at least a fraction of why I had to come. I am grateful for this opportunity!

Yesterday I was able to spend some time with a friend in Virginia. We went for a drive further south (in Virginia) than I had yet been. I can't fully explain the way I felt when I saw the mountains. It was the first time I had not felt homesick since I moved here. After the drive, we had a long talk about various topics and one of them was the Gospel and different aspects of it. In reality, it was me asking questions and him answering them. It was so nice to be around someone who held the Priesthood and I could talk to about Church (etc) things.

The day before, I got to spend the day with my friend Brock. Brock and I had been in the same ward in Provo and he had come out for the weekend to be in a friend's wedding. We drove all around Maryland, seeing different places he had grown up and talking with people he used to live near, etc. Later, we drove to Alexandria, VA and had dinner at Al's Steak House (we even got to meet Al!) and then went down to the waterfront in old town Alexandria. It was so nice to have yet another friend from home around, even if just for the day.

I guess through all of this I have realized that no matter where you go, your real friends will still be your real friends. It may not be as convenient to see each other, but distance doesn't mean the friendship ends. It just makes it that much sweeter, when you do reconnect with old friends. How does that old saying go?... Far in distance, but close in heart?

I realized that, even though I still miss Utah and the friends I have there, living away from it has helped me to grow and learn so much about myself. What a blessing!

I am starting to understand more fully that the Lord's plan for me isn't SECOND BEST.