One of those days

Good morning! Today I woke up a half an hour early and said to myself, "Sarah, this is going to be a great day!" This VERY MUCH surprised me because today is the 1 year anniversary of you-know-what happening to you-know-who. I don't know why, but I just have a feeling something good is going to happen today! I've experienced that a few times before, and sure enough, each time, something amazing happens! For instance, on some random Saturday a few years ago I had decided THAT DAY something great was going to happen and I wanted to look good for when it did. My "brother" Alan saw me getting "dolled up" and asked, "What...Are you going to meet _________ today or something?" ... Sure enough, later that day, I DID! It was so random!!!!

I'm not saying something exactly like that is going to happen again, but I feel like I am going to be extra productive today! I have already done a load of laundry and it's only 7:54 am! Hopefully I can even add more definition to my Chaco tan line, ha ha!

Now if only the humidity would go away, things would be perfect! :)

My friends Sara & Jason are coming to DC tomorrow! I am so excited! Sara is a former roommate of mine, and Jason is a friend of ours from one of our previous wards. It is going to be so good to see some familiar faces!

Well, I better go finish getting ready. I have to take Rachel (the girl I nanny) to the camp bus stop pretty soon and then I plan to run errands after that.

Let me know how all of you are doing!

Love from DC...

A Time & a Place for Everything

The infamous "THEY" say that there's a time and a place for everything.

Well...

They are right.

This past weekend I, out of my own free well, locked myself inside my house. It was wonderful! No kids, no messes, no stomping footsteps waking me up. :) Almost like a bit of magic!

I stayed up late twice.
I slept in late twice.
I read a great book by my favorite author.
I ordered delicious food.
I took long, LONG relaxing baths.
I didn't put on makeup.
I didn't wear my contacts.
I sat by the fire. (Yes, the central air in the house makes it THAT cold at night!)
I worked on my Chaco tan line.
I talked with friends for hours.
I read a talk from "The Ensign"
I watched two "scary" movies, that actually didn't scare me at all.
I enjoyed every second.


After a long, busy, stressful week that was go go go go go, a weekend of pampering and aromatherapy was exactly what I needed to rejuvenate myself for the week ahead.

And I'm glad I did it.

You should try it sometime. :) You'll be amazed at what a difference it can make.

11 months, 26 days and counting...

In 4 days, it will be the 1 year anniversary of the worst day of my life. The Chaco tan lines on my feet are getting more prominent with each day, and each day they are constant reminders of the fact that he isn't here.

When it first happened, it literally felt like there was a huge, gapping hole that filled my whole chest, and I didn't think that emptiness would ever be filled. One of the greatest people I had ever known was suddenly...gone. Taken. And I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I am not sure where I was at the time, maybe at work or asleep or something, but before he left for his trip to Peru, my neighbor Megan told me he stopped by our apartment complex to say goodbye. Stopped by my place twice, from what I'm told. But I wasn't there. There is no place in the world I can think of that would have been more important for me to be at that moment. And I wasn't there.

His family, the family of the other two that died on the trip (the Yoders,) and my friends Aaron L., (Kristen Yoder's boyfriend from Arizona) and Kristen Pace are in Peru as I type this. They left on Sunday, and will return on July 2nd. Just like Brennan should have.

I still dream about him a lot. Most of the time, I'm the only one that can see him in the dream. In the last dream I had, a few nights ago, his brother Spencer could see him, too. Sometimes I dream he's still alive. Kristen and I had dinner with him, in one of the dreams. It's almost like I still get to spend time with him. I'm afraid, however, that one day I won't be able to separate my real memories of the times we spent together from the ones I've dreamed up in my sleep.

For the record...I don't just say how much he meant to me because he's gone. I would have said it last spring, too. Everyone that knew me and knew of my friendship with him will understand. He was one of my best friends, and I always looked forward to spending time with Brennan, even if we weren't doing anything other than talking...

*sigh*

Maybe that's why I dream about him so much. Because I loved spending time with him SO MUCH that I just can't fully give him up. I don't know where I'm going with any of this, but ... In memory of Brennan John Larson, I had to post something. . .

Peace on Earth

When I lived in Provo, it was frequently THIS bench I would go to when I needed someplace to sit and think. When I wanted to sort things out in my head, or if I just wanted to get out of the apartment and find a peaceful spot to write in my journal, I would go there. Sometimes I would lay beneath the trees, enjoying the shade on hot summer days. Sometimes I would sit on the bench at night and enjoy the scenic view of the stars and the moon over Rock Canyon, lighting up the stunning peaks. Sometimes one of my old roommates and I would go at night and sit facing the "bowl" on the back side of the hill, singing our favorite hymns & listening to the great acoustics that nature provided for us.

I love Dove milk chocolate, and on the inside of the wrappers are cute little "promises" (messages/quotes) and one I have seen time and time again is, "Go to your special place." Every time I read that, I thought of this park.

I believe every one needs a place to go and get away from the stress of day-to-day life now and then.

This was mine.

Taxation Without Representation

Yesterday I went into the heart of Washington D.C. with a friend and did the touristy thing. We saw the White House, the Washington Monument, the federal reserve building, tons of statues placed around the city, the capital, etc. We are going back to see the rest of the sights when our friends (Sara and Petey) come at the end of the month.

During our multi-hour walk around the city, I made sure to stop and take pictures of my CHACOS in front of everything I thought would be considered a "landmark." :) My Chaco tan line is getting more defined each day. :) This pleases me...

After we left D.C., we headed towards Alexandria, Virginia so Antonio could give me the tour of old town Alexandria (which, by the way, is so quaint and picturesque!) Before we went to dinner we stopped at this cute area that runs along the Potomac River. There were all kinds of street performers and live bands playing, along with a great breeze rolling in off of the river. It was a beautiful night! There were several incredibly gorgeous yachts lining the docks, and even old-school riverboats. I'll see if I took any pictures. If any of you make it out here for a visit, we will definitely have to go there - it's a must-see! :) Plus, it's like mini-Georgetown, in terms of having every restaurant style you can imagine...Except, it's better priced and a little bit less crowded!

Church was ... OKAY ... today. Sacrament was good, but in both Sunday School AND Relief Society, I got stuck sitting next to people who wouldn't stop talking, taking pictures with their phones, or playing the equilavent of a cross-word puzzle, except with numbers... It was ridiculous. I wanted to turn to these people and tell them they CLEARLY had other things they would rather be doing or talking about and that they should go home. However, I bit my tongue and kept quiet.

I'm sorry people, but there's a time and a place for things like that, and CHURCH just isn't either.

Shaun asked me to go to dinner again sometime this week, so that will be a nice little escape from what I refer to as "my life." :) Sometimes it's the little things that can make the biggest difference. Thank God for small favors, I guess. :)

East Coast Money

Visiting the east coast was always something I wanted to do. My friends and I would always talk about taking trips to New England in Autumn and driving from Massachusetts to Maine to see the fall colors. In my mind, it was always so picturesque. Being here is completely different than I imagined.

A friend of mine lives in New York City, and as I talked to him last night, I realized that he and I are viewing the things and people around us quite similarly. Out here, it seems like everyone is obsessed with money and status and very worldly things... He put it best by saying, "People here live to work; I just work to live." It's true.

I agree with him, that just isn't ME.

I honestly believe that money does NOT buy happiness. My boss is living proof of that. I think people would be much better off if they started to focus on things that REALLY MATTERED, instead of only being concerned with their rank on the corporate ladder. I can only speak for myself, but spending time with my friends, spending time with my family, and doing things I love with the people that I love..THOSE are the things that make me happy. I was happy long before I had a job that paid well, so I can promise money had nothing to do with my happiness.

I'm not saying people shouldn't be proud of their accomplishments, or shouldn't strive to be the best in their field. I am just saying there are more important things in life, which have nothing to do with work or money. What good is it to have a job that pays millions of dollars if you're not home to enjoy the things you've bought with the people that mean the most to you? You can have a multi-million dollar house; But that doesn't mean it's a "home."

When I reflect on my life and think about the memories I consider "my favorites," none of them are things like, "when I got that extra large paycheck," or "when I went out to eat at the nicest restaurant in the city," etc. It's things like, "When Beth, Poppy, Kellie and I had the original 'fire on the bon'." or "When Brennan and I would go to 'game night' at Don's on Sundays," or "pulling elaborate pranks on my ward or my friends."

I don't know... Those are just some of the things I have been thinking about the past few days.

A fresh start sometimes stinks...

So here I am, all moved in and living in Maryland. If you can call this 'living.' I don't really know anyone yet, I work til pretty late each night, so I wouldn't have free time for friends even if I knew a million people, and my ward is 45 minutes away. . . Living in Utah sure spoiled me.

I thought moving out here would prove that I'm as strong as I thought I was. I was wrong. When temptations are staring you in the face day in and day out, it's a lot harder to make the right choices. So many nights I have had to force myself not to even leave the house. Life in Utah is so much easier because everyone around you is making the right decisions.

I know it should be easy to make the right decisions anywhere, and maybe for some people it is, but I am just not one of those people. *sigh*

Tests make you stronger right? Yeah, it seems like that -- but first you have to pass them. We'll see how this "fresh start" (move to Maryland) goes. There are days when I can't WAIT to go back to Utah. I call those days "every day."