Have you heard the saying, "I smile because I have no idea what's going on" before? I think we all have, it's a pretty common saying in silly t-shirt shops. Well, lately, that's kinda been me.
However, I'm smiling not BECAUSE I don't know what's going on, but IN SPITE of not knowing what's going on. And lemme tell you, I am smiling A LOT.
What's the expression? Butterflies? :)
Butterflies rock. The end.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
"All or Nothing"
I have always loved this song....Just thought I'd post the lyrics....
________________________________________________
"All or Nothing" by O-Town
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Chorus:
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it
Don't me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell
Chorus
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never
Chorus x2
________________________________________________
"All or Nothing" by O-Town
I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eye
I thought with time you'd realize
It's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you
But how I can fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair
Chorus:
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all
There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see
Those times I don't believe it's right
I know know it
Don't me make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now I want the best of you
It's time for show and tell
Chorus
Cause you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
No room inside for me in your life
Cause I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
It's now or never
Chorus x2
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Totally Do-able
Losing 40 lbs by the end of August is totally do-able. I am sure I'll have lost 40 other things by then, why not add pounds to the mix? :) I'm down 4 so far, and I just started a week ago! Woo!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
My New Logo?
Hey kiddies.... So, I've decided to make a logo for my photography work... I've posted a few versions, so I'd really appreciate hearing which one you all like the best! Thanks! :)
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Tiffani & Chris's Wedding
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Things that make me happy!
Today I feel the need to remind myself of all of the little things in life that make me happy. All too often I think I take the little things for granted, and in the end, I think the little things are actually the big things... So, off the top of my head, here are a few things that make me smile!
- Blue skies
- John Cusack movies
- The sound of the rain
- The smell of the air on early summer mornings
- The feel of the sunshine on my skin, any time of year.
- Gerber daisies
- Star filled skies
- Days off from work
- Paychecks
- My car's sunroof/moonroof
- Brick Oven pizza!
- Chaco tan lines
- Almond Rocha
- Smiles from strangers
- Puppies/Dogs
- Babies
- Chill music
- Sleeping in
- High School Yearbooks
- Haircuts
- Roadtrips with friends
- Vacations in general
- Palm trees
- Allred concerts
- The sound of a cello
- Sunsets
There are a few.... :) What makes YOU happy?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thinkin' Over...
I've had a lot on my mind lately. More than usual, actually. Well, let me back up...
The last few weeks I've been pretty sick, and have spent an unusually large amount of time at home, in bed. When you're home and stuck in bed, you have ridiculous amounts of time to think. [And play on Facebook.] So, everything that I haven't had time to really think about the past few weeks/months came flooding to my mind, and at times, it was a bit overwhelming.
I thought about California. A lot. And obviously not JUST California, but situations surrounding certain people IN California. I gave my heart away to this person 8 years ago and I never really got it back. I've been fighting with myself over this non-stop since October 29th....The day he breezed back into my life. Well, actually I should say, I've been fighting with myself over this since September or October 2001. It's a sick love affair, so to speak, and I'm a hopeless romantic.
I thought a lot about the Church, and it's role in my life. Or rather, the lack-there-of. I went to the Draper Temple Open House on February 14th, and I was hoping to have some miraculous, spiritual experience that opened my eyes and flooded my heart and made me realize everything I have been missing....and...I just...didn't. The building was BEAUTIFUL...But, I just felt like I was walking through JUST THAT...a beautiful building. I had no spiritual connection with the place.
I've thought about Brennan, and how much I miss him. I guess that also ties into the whole "thinking about California" aspect... I haven't been there since his funeral, and would really like to bring some Gerber daisies to his grave...In my opinion, they are the ultimate symbol of friendship. [Well, at least in terms of flowers.]
Going along with missing Brennan, I've come to realize something about myself... I have a very hard time letting people go. I guess that has to do with "Mr. California," too. I care about people a LOT. I think about my friends and how much they mean to me, and maybe this is idealistic, but I invision always being friends with them. I think back to where I was a few years ago, and who I was spending all of my free time with, and sadly, most of my friends from back then have grown into what feels like strangers. That's hard for me. Kurt Cobain once said "It's better to burn out than to fade away." I think that really describes how I feel about friendship. I would rather have a friendship end in some bitter, horrible, beyond-the-point-of-repair type of fight than for the friendship to just fade away, almost like it never existed.
Here's an example. There is a person here in Utah I have been friends with since summer/fall of 2005, I believe.... [For the sake of making this less confusing, I'll refer to this person as "Shawn."] I have a tremendous amount of respect for Shawn. He's funny. He's outgoing. He's willing to help out a friend in need. He's someone I know I can talk to about anything without fear of judgement, and someone who can keep things confidential -- well, the important things anyway. :) I guess in short, he's all of the things a person looks for in a friend. Anyway, Shawn and I used to be good friends and hung out pretty regularly. Then, I don't know what happened. Life changed things. I have been back in Utah for just over a year now, and I've only seen him once. And that was by chance. It makes me sad to see friendships fizzle away, and not know how to fix them, or why they started fading in the first place.
Maybe that's just part of life...
This blog is probably sounding really depressing, ha ha ha, and I promise I don't mean for it to! Like I said, I've just had a lot on my mind and I needed someplace to write it all out, so I can better sort through it all.
Thanks for listening...
The last few weeks I've been pretty sick, and have spent an unusually large amount of time at home, in bed. When you're home and stuck in bed, you have ridiculous amounts of time to think. [And play on Facebook.] So, everything that I haven't had time to really think about the past few weeks/months came flooding to my mind, and at times, it was a bit overwhelming.
I thought about California. A lot. And obviously not JUST California, but situations surrounding certain people IN California. I gave my heart away to this person 8 years ago and I never really got it back. I've been fighting with myself over this non-stop since October 29th....The day he breezed back into my life. Well, actually I should say, I've been fighting with myself over this since September or October 2001. It's a sick love affair, so to speak, and I'm a hopeless romantic.
I thought a lot about the Church, and it's role in my life. Or rather, the lack-there-of. I went to the Draper Temple Open House on February 14th, and I was hoping to have some miraculous, spiritual experience that opened my eyes and flooded my heart and made me realize everything I have been missing....and...I just...didn't. The building was BEAUTIFUL...But, I just felt like I was walking through JUST THAT...a beautiful building. I had no spiritual connection with the place.
I've thought about Brennan, and how much I miss him. I guess that also ties into the whole "thinking about California" aspect... I haven't been there since his funeral, and would really like to bring some Gerber daisies to his grave...In my opinion, they are the ultimate symbol of friendship. [Well, at least in terms of flowers.]
Going along with missing Brennan, I've come to realize something about myself... I have a very hard time letting people go. I guess that has to do with "Mr. California," too. I care about people a LOT. I think about my friends and how much they mean to me, and maybe this is idealistic, but I invision always being friends with them. I think back to where I was a few years ago, and who I was spending all of my free time with, and sadly, most of my friends from back then have grown into what feels like strangers. That's hard for me. Kurt Cobain once said "It's better to burn out than to fade away." I think that really describes how I feel about friendship. I would rather have a friendship end in some bitter, horrible, beyond-the-point-of-repair type of fight than for the friendship to just fade away, almost like it never existed.
Here's an example. There is a person here in Utah I have been friends with since summer/fall of 2005, I believe.... [For the sake of making this less confusing, I'll refer to this person as "Shawn."] I have a tremendous amount of respect for Shawn. He's funny. He's outgoing. He's willing to help out a friend in need. He's someone I know I can talk to about anything without fear of judgement, and someone who can keep things confidential -- well, the important things anyway. :) I guess in short, he's all of the things a person looks for in a friend. Anyway, Shawn and I used to be good friends and hung out pretty regularly. Then, I don't know what happened. Life changed things. I have been back in Utah for just over a year now, and I've only seen him once. And that was by chance. It makes me sad to see friendships fizzle away, and not know how to fix them, or why they started fading in the first place.
Maybe that's just part of life...
This blog is probably sounding really depressing, ha ha ha, and I promise I don't mean for it to! Like I said, I've just had a lot on my mind and I needed someplace to write it all out, so I can better sort through it all.
Thanks for listening...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
True Love
Inside these walls one can experience the feeling of True Love. Love from our Heavenly Father.Oh, what a lovely Valentines Day this is going to be. :)
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The A, B, C's of Sarahlee
A- Attached or single: Single
B- Best Friend: I have a few very, very good best friends, both boys and girls, that have passed the test of time. Dawn, Beth, Kellie, Kristen, Brock, Tassy, Sara, Kelso, Mark, Bryan, Michael, etc. So many!!!!
C-Cake or Pie: Gotta go with pie. Specifically pumpkin pie, with whipped cream!
D- Day of choice: Any day I have off from both jobs! :) Usually Mondays & Tuesdays!
E- Essential Item: My backpack. It's filled with all of my essential items, haha.
F- Favorite Color: The blue color of the sky right away when I wake up on a summery day that I don't have to go to work. :) Nothing beats warm, sunny days!
G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Eh, if I had to choose, I'd pick worms. Sour worms.
H- Hometown: Aitkin/Brainerd, Minnesota (I know what you're thinking..."Uhhm, WHERE???")
I- Indulgence(s): Caramel apple suckers :) Mmmmm sooooo good!
J- January or July: Until I learn to snowboard or something, I'm going to have to go with July! :)
K- Kids: I had a dream last night that I had a baby boy, whom I named Jake Taylor; Does that count??? :) (ps - I have NO IDEA where I pulled the last name "Taylor" from, so don't get any ideas! lol)
L-Life is Incomplete Without: Love.
M- Marriage Date: My goal is 10/10/10. :) uhh, that's pushing it, but hey. :) It's always good to have a goal.
N- Number of Siblings: 2 half sisters. Samantha (by my mom) and Joleen (by my dad.) I only know Sam, though.
O- Oranges or Apples: I love both. But I especially love apples when sweetened by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory's caramel. :)
P- Phobias or Fears: Not being able to say goodbye...
Q- Quotes: "Could have been golden. Could have been something. Could have been anything that we wanted. But we were too fragile, we could be broken, we could be bought. And this is the last time I'm gonna say this, I loved you more than anything. And I still do." ~ "Golden" by ALLRED.
R- Reason To Smile: Sunshine. Music. Friendships. Memories. Take your pic.
S- Season: Autum- The temperature is my favorite. Cool enough during the day to enjoy some layered clothing, but still warm enough at night to not need a coat. Usually. :) The smell of the air when the leaves are changing is unmistakeable -- I wish I could bottle it and spray it in my home all year long!
T- Tag: Beth, Brittany, Kristen
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I have a huge soft spot for red-headed guys. I've never met a mean red head! ;)
V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: I love chicken too much to be a vegetarian!
W- Worst Habit: biting my nails, or pulling at my split ends... I gotta stop! AHH!
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Well, I've never had an ultrasound, but uhm, I'm gonna go with that one...An x-ray usually means something is broken! hahaha....
Y- Your Favorite Food: Chicken Potstickers from Panda Express. Very guilty pleasure which I give-in to faaar too often! ;)
Z - Zodiac: Aries!
B- Best Friend: I have a few very, very good best friends, both boys and girls, that have passed the test of time. Dawn, Beth, Kellie, Kristen, Brock, Tassy, Sara, Kelso, Mark, Bryan, Michael, etc. So many!!!!
C-Cake or Pie: Gotta go with pie. Specifically pumpkin pie, with whipped cream!
D- Day of choice: Any day I have off from both jobs! :) Usually Mondays & Tuesdays!
E- Essential Item: My backpack. It's filled with all of my essential items, haha.
F- Favorite Color: The blue color of the sky right away when I wake up on a summery day that I don't have to go to work. :) Nothing beats warm, sunny days!
G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Eh, if I had to choose, I'd pick worms. Sour worms.
H- Hometown: Aitkin/Brainerd, Minnesota (I know what you're thinking..."Uhhm, WHERE???")
I- Indulgence(s): Caramel apple suckers :) Mmmmm sooooo good!
J- January or July: Until I learn to snowboard or something, I'm going to have to go with July! :)
K- Kids: I had a dream last night that I had a baby boy, whom I named Jake Taylor; Does that count??? :) (ps - I have NO IDEA where I pulled the last name "Taylor" from, so don't get any ideas! lol)
L-Life is Incomplete Without: Love.
M- Marriage Date: My goal is 10/10/10. :) uhh, that's pushing it, but hey. :) It's always good to have a goal.
N- Number of Siblings: 2 half sisters. Samantha (by my mom) and Joleen (by my dad.) I only know Sam, though.
O- Oranges or Apples: I love both. But I especially love apples when sweetened by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory's caramel. :)
P- Phobias or Fears: Not being able to say goodbye...
Q- Quotes: "Could have been golden. Could have been something. Could have been anything that we wanted. But we were too fragile, we could be broken, we could be bought. And this is the last time I'm gonna say this, I loved you more than anything. And I still do." ~ "Golden" by ALLRED.
R- Reason To Smile: Sunshine. Music. Friendships. Memories. Take your pic.
S- Season: Autum- The temperature is my favorite. Cool enough during the day to enjoy some layered clothing, but still warm enough at night to not need a coat. Usually. :) The smell of the air when the leaves are changing is unmistakeable -- I wish I could bottle it and spray it in my home all year long!
T- Tag: Beth, Brittany, Kristen
U- Unknown Fact About Me: I have a huge soft spot for red-headed guys. I've never met a mean red head! ;)
V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: I love chicken too much to be a vegetarian!
W- Worst Habit: biting my nails, or pulling at my split ends... I gotta stop! AHH!
X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: Well, I've never had an ultrasound, but uhm, I'm gonna go with that one...An x-ray usually means something is broken! hahaha....
Y- Your Favorite Food: Chicken Potstickers from Panda Express. Very guilty pleasure which I give-in to faaar too often! ;)
Z - Zodiac: Aries!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Ironic
Well, that relationship I was talking about in my previous post...Yeah, it lasted 6 days. I couldn't handle it anymore. Sounds crazy, right? I couldn't handle being treated well? I don't know, it just seemed like too much --- I don't like being called "honey" and "baby" and "sweetie" and "darlin" every time you're speaking to me. My name is SARAH!!!! Try using THAT! I'm far too independent to need to be with someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or maybe I just haven't found the person that I'd be OKAY with spending that much time with. Yeah, I'm guessing that's it.
Then there's always the past coming back to bite me. Texting me from time to time, letting me know he's still there, and still holding my heart. Why do I let him have this control over me, and how do I stop it???
I got my laptop back, so...There will be more to come soon!
Then there's always the past coming back to bite me. Texting me from time to time, letting me know he's still there, and still holding my heart. Why do I let him have this control over me, and how do I stop it???
I got my laptop back, so...There will be more to come soon!
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